We are in a big city, with lots of people, countless activities to do….
I’m in this big city, amongst this sea of people, and all I can do…. is be a mommy.
This just reaffirms how much life changes when you have a child. I can’t just get up and go to all the platforms at WPPI (wish I could), go to all the hip parties (not like I am invited, ha ha j/k), or go to a cool show with Steven! It gets frustrating at times, but this is how my life has been the past seven months. I wish I could just work all day and then play all night, coming from the saying “work hard, play harder.” Well, my motto is, “work hard, work even harder when Grace is asleep.” It’s perpetual.
My life is crazy and I’m in need of a remote control that can make my life go into slow motion.
Do I love my life, though? Yes, I do indeed.
Do I know that I love my life every second of the day? Nope, I’m ungrateful as sad as that can be. But aren’t we all? I wish I could appreciate everything I have all the time, but unfortunately I’m HUMAN. Capitalizing cause I’m telling that to myself. My husband had been gone for 8 months, shouldn’t I appreciate every second I can with him, now that he’s home? Yes. Do I? No. Why not? Well because I am usually exhausted and ready to just be in control of everything. I miss being in control. I love control. But guess what? I was never in control of anything. God is. He is in control. He knows everything that I don’t. He knows what’s best for me and the plans he has for me. Sometimes you just have to let go of that desire to control and be free from expectations and perfection. God will give you everything you will ever need. He is everything you will ever need.
As best as I can, I will appreciate everything I can with the life God has given me. He has blessed me so much. Healthy baby and a safe arrival of my husband. I let go of control and I just give it all to Him.
My beautiful baby girl. I love you literally from the moon back times infinity.
Thankful Steven can hold Grace. So so thankful that we can be a mommy and a daddy to this smart, beautiful little miracle.