Don’t let the title fool you, it’s not at all I want to talk about. Honestly, I’m ashamed of even writing that title, because it shows just how easily superficial we can be.
I drooled over a pair of Christian Loubiton shoes for months. I saved for them (this was pre-baby). I thought if I had them, my closet, my “look,” my world would be complete. YES, I said that. How wrong and far off was I?! That was about 2.5 years ago.
But honestly, we all do this. We all want the next best thing. We always want an upgrade, even though our phones are working perfectly fine. We always want the bigger, better, sharper, shinier, etc. We always think, once we have it, our lives will be better, we’ll be happier, we’ll feel just a tad bit more “complete.”
But isn’t it sad, that we can spend 80% of our time working hard and spending our money on things that don’t matter at all? Honestly I haven’t worn those shoes in about a year. I actually don’t even think they fit anymore (thank you, pregnancy), and to be honest, I’d rather wear my sneakers or flip flops.
This blog post is about something bigger. God was totally speaking to me tonight. It’s funny when the house is completely silent, baby is fast asleep, no one is online messaging you, your emails are all responded to, you’re getting tired…… and then “ALMOST” ready for bed, you have all these incredible epiphanies.
Missions. Missions has always been on my heart. Ever since my first trip to Ecuador or the time I spent two months in India and was blown away of how freeing it was to have the bare minimum, yet still feel so whole and full inside. And how “alive” I felt.
I know this is personal, but I wanted to share this scary email I sent my husband. He probably is going to FREAK once he reads this because it’s so crazy. But I seriously wrote this email in under five minutes. It’s like my fingers was moving as fast as the thoughts were processing:
“What?!?!?! Is that a sign?!?! LOL I think it might be. What if God has in store for us something HUGE? Like something insane. What if he wants us to get out, and we can work on “photography” but we end up pursuing missions or ministry in some full time kind of way. Imagine, we save xxx amount , have bare minimum bills… no debt… my photography can pay for a lot… and we can serve Christ without the weight of the world– I feel like if ANYONE is set up to do missions, it’s us! We can save over the next few years when we live at my parent’s house, get out of the USMC, and go out and devote our whole lives/time to God. We are so blessed beyond measure. This “money” i’m making isn’t for me, it’s not for material things, but it’s for GOD. What if he’s setting us up for something so big we can’t even wrap our heads around it?!
I was reading the bible tonight and read this–
“Philippians 1: 27″- Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing FIRM in on spirit, with ONE mind striving side by side for the FAITH of the GOSPEL, and not FRIGHTENED in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him bt also suffer for his sake, engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have…”
It’s just a reminder that even though missions is scary, cause as a man you want to protect and provide for your family, it’s certain that we are not made for this world. What the world has to offer is merely temporary. God has so much more offered for us in heaven. We should not make this “world” our home, we shouldn’t find our treasures “here,” and make money to make life more comfortable “here” but we must carry the urgency of the gospel in our hearts everyday. Our lives are so temporary. This whole world is temporary. Even our happiness is temporary. But God’s faith, His love, and the love Christ has for us is eternal. Why base our lives on comfort of the world? Why get a job so you can “provide” a nice roomy house for our kids and food they probably won’t even eat or appreciate! The fruits of the spirit, fruits of the Lord is what we should crave and yearn more for. We are so hungry as fat Americans. We need to sacrifice our lives, our comforts, our time for God.
What do you think of a late night Sonya rant, Steven?!?!”
So there’s the scary email. We’ll see what he thinks. But seriously, isn’t that epiphany CRAZY? But isn’t it so true?
I can’t tell you how great it is to feel this way. To understand and fully comprehend that only GOD can fill us up. Steven and I are nearing a crossroads where we can literally choose the next steps/phase in our lives. We can choose to settle down in a quaint town, he can get a business job, and I can continue photography. It sounds like the life i’ve been dreaming of. But what if God always has something crazier and bigger in store? I’m not saying we are going to do missions, cause we may not be called to, but what if we are? What would hold us back? Fear of the unknown. But God’s words speak clearly, that the only thing we should fear is GOD Himself. This world is a scary place, don’t get me wrong, but it will always be scary, it’s such a temporary and changing world… but our God is unchanging and His love is unconditional and unwavering. We should store our treasures up in heaven and not on this earth. We should be ready and have the urgency of the gospel in our hearts, everyday.
Whew. That was a lot but I wrote this blog post in under 7 minutes so I obviously needed to get it off my chest.